painted faces fill the places i can't reach

if you call me now baby then i'd come runnin

she said call me now baby...i'd come up runnin

There must be something defective in my brain because I can not seem to get my mind off of it all, after all this time - seriously, there has to be something not right if it continues on like this. Was I not satisfied with the clear answer...but the answer perhaps was not clear and I refuse to believe that - that was it. How the eff. can I just stop thinking about.....

goodnight.

one year closer to the end of the world as we know it?

Interesting concept that in 2012 the world will 'end'. Well perhaps the world as we know it will end...or maybe not. Either way, it is what it is...

To be or not to be...rejected?

How to deal with rejection? Surely there are plenty of books, tutorials, etc. that are there for your reading pleasure and also to act as an emotional band aid once you've been rejected, but what can these tell you that you did not already anticipate to the least bit?

To what point to you keep everything inside until you can no longer do so.

Being true to yourself has to happen prior to being true to others, because no matter how much you try to beat around the bush and say anything just to appease a situation, deep down you know that you are full of sh*t and only you know how you really feel. On occasion there is that other person out there who can see through you and spot your sh*t outright yet you don't care and stay by your initial story hoping it will allllll just go away and out of your life.

So be it.

There are those who dwell, dwell and then dwell some more and some more till they have nothing left to do but keep dwelling and hoping. Then there are those who dwell, dwell and then stop. Think. Act and then decide whether it is worth to keep dwelling or if they should just dismiss everything and move along. I like the latter.

Why do you choose to avoid to answer simple questions, why not just say yes or no, why say yes and then not follow up!?

We know it may be bad yet we take a bite, we tell ourselves we shouldn't, we give ourselves 101 reasons, we let time pass hoping it'll slowly go away instead it builds up more and more until nothing can impede this sentiment, the ice will break sooner or later and the feeling may dissipate or it may intensify.

One tells himself that the time has come to confront another about his feelings admitting that regardless of what the other's reaction is, at least it's out there and no longer trapped inside a troubled mind. Secretly, however, the one doing the confronting hopes that the other's reaction is the same as his which is what fuels that courage to break the ice.

Filled with regret, knowing that having these feelings makes you as guilty almost as acting upon them, but you don't care because you like the feeling and rush it gives you, a certain feeling you can't shake and nor do you want to. The obvious, but almost not at all, evident and apparent indication that the other feels the same exact way, makes it that much more difficult to rid your mind of it because deep down you want something to happen, you don't want to think about the consequences since you know they won't be pleasant at least not in the beginning and perhaps they will for you but not for someone else, or maybe you're scared that if you take that bite, you may like it too much and then what - can you afford to buy the apple? What if you take the bite and you like it but not enough to take more bites and buy the apple yet you know you will still have to pay for it. You may look back and realize that the pear you had in your hand, that you threw away in the blink of an eye because you believed the apple is better tasting, is now in another's hand and you've lost it...forever.

You still wonder, and you weigh all the different variables but you don't care and go for the apple anyway while still holding on to the pear hoping for the best outcome.

The mind and the heart are two dangerous enemies to our vulnerable souls.

I still can't get my mind to stop thinking about it all. I wish I never made that acquaintance, everything would be great otherwise.